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The Story that broke my heart

Hi, Mommy.

I’m your baby. You don’t know me yet, I’m only a few weeks old. You’re going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I’ve got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don’t have it yet, but I will when I’m born. I’m going to be your only child, and you’ll call me your one and only. I’m going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We’ll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn’t wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I
know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about  me! …He wasn’t happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don’t think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don’t think I understand
yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay… but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That’s a sound I don’t like. It doesn’t make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I’m not sure if I do. It wasn’t right. You say he loves you… why would he hurt you? I don’t like it, Mommy.

Finally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you’re so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I’m
happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn’t talking right. He said he didn’t want you. I don’t know why, but that’s what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won’t let you get hurt! I promise to
protect you. Daddy is bad. I don’t care if you think that he is a good person, I think he’s bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn’t want us. He doesn’t like me. Why doesn’t he like me, Mommy?

You didn’t talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay? It’s been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven’t talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don’t you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don’t you do that when you’re awake, any more?

I’m 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren’t you proud of me? We’re going somewhere today, and it’s somewhere new. I’m excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you’re as excited as I am. I can’t wait.

…Mommy, I’m getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don’t know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something’s going to happen soon. I’m really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don’t worry Mommy, I’m safe. I’m in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it’s called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don’t you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I’m really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don’t you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn’t I love you enough? Please say you’ll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don’t want to be here, I want you to love me again! I’m really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!

I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.

Two more eyes that will never see.

Two more hands that will never touch.

Two more legs that will never run.

One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, reblog.

BY: XTY TITULAR

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Upstart nation provides workers for the world

Here is an interesting article about the Philippines by Rosa Linda Valenzona. Linda is currently General Manager of the Ayala Multi-purpose Cooperative in Manila. She is a former lecturer in economics at the University of the Philippines and a former Assistant Secretary for Legislative Affairs, Department of Social Welfare and Development. She is also a consultant to Pontifical Council on the Family.
 She affirms that the Philippines is experiencing a poverty crisis right now due to three serious handicaps to the Philippine Economy: (1) the heavy burden of foreign debt servicing we faced in the late 1980’s after the Marcos regime; (2) the graft and corruption of our politicians; and (3) gross economic mismanagement. However, she explains that there is more to the Philippines than just its apparent ‘poverty’. Here is the full article:

Upstart nation provides workers for the world

By insisting on its own demographic path the Philippines has an economic strength that much of the world now lacks.


Flickr / WakxAsk the average informed first world citizen what he or she knows about the Philippines and they are likely to tell you that it is a poor, overpopulated, Catholic country, and that the “Catholic” part explains all the rest. A recent article in the Washington Post is typical of the media coverage that feeds this view: “Birthrates Help Keep Filipinos in Poverty,” ran the heading. “Contraceptives, Rejected by Government, Are Unaffordable for Many in Majority-Catholic Nation,” the subheading explained. Enough said. 

The Post’s pitch faithfully reflects the view of the global family planning industry, which has long viewed the Philippines as “that Asian upstart” for resisting a national population control program. In the past thirty years official aid agencies and non-government groups led by International Planned Parenthood have poured resources into influencing the Philippines government to enact such a program.

Whence comes this resistance? How has it benefited the Philippines?

As much of the world confronts a demographic meltdown caused by very low birth rates and ageing populations, the Philippines is in a strong demographic position to build its own social and economic wellbeing – and contribute to the workforce of the developed world.

Certainly the majority Catholic culture explains a lot. Even when other parts of the Catholic world fell in with the birth control mentality, the Philippine clergy were stalwart in their defence of the principles set out in Pope Paul VI’s encyclical Humanae Vitae 40 years ago. Asian family values have also played their part.

Now, media messages to the contrary, they stand vindicated. As much of the world confronts a demographic meltdown caused by very low birth rates and ageing populations, the Philippines is in a strong demographic position to build its own social and economic wellbeing — as well as continue contributing to the workforce of the developed world. That is my ultimate argument in this article. But first, let us look at the facts of our country’s population. 

Population growth

According to the 2007 official estimate the population of the Philippines stands at 91 million – a tremendous leap from the 1.5 million souls estimated to be living in these islands by Fr Manuel Buzeta in 1799. For almost another century-and-a-half it continued to grow slowly, but then surged, sharing in the worldwide postwar baby boom.

At the same time it showed the effects of lower death rates owing to better nutrition, improved housing, sanitary conditions and more hygienic practices. Between 1950 and1965 the population annual growth rate was higher than 3 per cent, but by 1970 growth had levelled off. It then steadily declined to the present level of 1.76 per cent.

It is important to realise that population growth came from survival as well as births. Improved health care and nutrition helped all age groups live longer, but they had their most dramatic effect on child survival. Between 1950 and 1960 alone infant mortality fell by almost 30 per cent.

Growth momentum

The massive fall in child mortality caused population growth to gain momentum. More children surviving to adulthood created unprecedented numbers in the female population aged 15 to 49 between 1970 and 1980. Of course, this phenomenon of growth momentum is not confined to the Philippines. Generally, population “explodes” not because people are “breeding like rabbits” — as so many think — but because more children survive and increase the ranks of the fertile population. This is obvious when you remember that the Philippine birth rate was actually declining during this period.

What makes the Philippines a singular case is that its birth rate did not dive down as in other Asian countries, such as Singapore, Thailand and Hong Kong. Declines in individual fertility in those countries were sharp enough to neutralize the continued increase in their fertile population.

Demographers have coined the term “demographic dividend” to refer to the material benefits countries gain from a labour force unburdened by child support. Contending that this is what helped to launch development in these countries, the family planning industry has continually harped on the Philippines’ failure to bring down its fertility as the cause of underdevelopment and poverty.

Fertility trends

There are actually several factors behind this slower decline in Philippine fertility. A low level of contraceptive use is one of them. Among women aged 15 to 49, around a third in the Philippines used modern methods of birth control in 2002, compared with 62 per cent in Singapore, 72 per cent in Thailand and 86 per cent in Hong Kong. Sadly, in these latter countries contraception has become a lifestyle choice. Around 14 per cent of Filipinas used traditional methods, including natural family planning, and just over half used no method. Many of those who desist from using contraceptives do so because they would like have children.

Yet fertility in this country has declined, and if contraception is not the cause, what is? Fertility behaviour is a complex of biology, economics, cultural values, attitudes and opportunities. The data is difficult to collect and analyze. In order to make sense of the little data available a stylised model will serve to illustrate the multiple factors that contribute to the fall in fertility.

Consider the following life story of a hypothetical Filipina: 
• Assume that birth spacing lasts two years after each pregnancy. Each pregnancy will require 33 months (9 + 24 = 33) to complete before the mother is ready for another baby. 
• Since the woman’s fertile period lasts 15 to 45 year (30 years or 360 months) this gives a theoretical maximum of 10 pregnancies over the entire reproductive period. 
• She then sets aside 6 years to study (4 year college course and roughly 2 years to prepare for a qualifying board exam etc.) 
• Then she works for 10 years before she gets married. 
• Upon marriage the couple decides to delay pregnancy for another 2 years 
• Then her husband works abroad for 5 years. 

If all these factors are realised a woman will forego 82 per cent of her (theoretical maximum) fertility and end up having less than two pregnancies.

Obviously this is not happening in the majority of cases, but official data confirm that the model indicates a trend: 
• The average age of marriage for Filipinas is rising and in 2000 stood at 24.56 years. 
• The average age of a Filipina mother when her first child is born is also 24. 
• Average space between births is increasing and could be around 2.5 years by now. 
• There is also an increasing number of women not married by age 35, consistent with global trends. 
• Finally, there are about 10 million Filipinos working abroad, and it is reasonable to assume that this would have a substantial impact on delayed or foregone pregnancies.

Impact on age structure

We have seen that for population growth to slow down a drastic fall in fertility is needed to counteract the continued rise in the fertile population. A drastic fall, however, means a shrinking of the youth population relative to older age groups. And this reversal of the traditional age structure is hastened by the better living standards and health care that increase life expectancy in both the developed and developing worlds. Thus a rapid decline in fertility goes hand in hand with the ageing of the population.

This can be seen in our Asian neighbours. Singapore, with a birth rate of 1.26 children per woman, has a median age of 37.5. Hong Kong’s birth rate is even lower at .97, and its median age is 39. Its repatriation to China delays some of the effects of ageing, but we all know China has its own problems. Thailand, a late beginner in the birth control stakes, has brought its birth rate down to 2 children and its median age has risen to 27.5. 

But that is not the end of the story. Once the shrinking birth cohorts grow up to reach the fertile age the fertile population will also start shrinking, and the combined effect of low fertility and the shrinking fertile population will reinforce each other to bring about population implosion. The process is already well under way in Japan.

Arguing the Philippine case

Against this background, the Philippine resistance to population control seems vindicated. Even after 40 years of family planning its birth rate is 3.05. It remains a young population with a median age of 22.7. Some 56 per cent of its people are under 25. The slowness of its fertility decline preserved the birth cohort from shrinking radically. This has preserved the healthy triangular configuration of its age structure. “Healthy” because as long as this configuration persists the labour force will not decline—the size of the population retiring and joining the ranks of the elderly will always be smaller than the size of the population joining the ranks of the labour force. The Philippines will not be facing the inevitable social security crisis of the ageing populations.

Certainly the country has a poverty crisis right now. The economy is performing badly compared to our Asian neighbours. The family planning industry blames this on our recalcitrant attitude to birth control. But there are at least three serious handicaps to the Philippine economy: the heavy burden of foreign debt servicing we faced in the late 1980s after the Marcos regime, the graft and corruption of our politicians, and gross economic mismanagement.

Nevertheless, even in the current period of slowed growth the Philippines has sustained GDP growth of over 5 per cent. Guess what is fuelling this growth? Unable to enjoy a level economic playing field at home, millions of Filipinos have gone abroad and it is their remittances that are keeping the economy afloat. This would not have been possible if the Philippines had opted to accept family planning the way its Asian neighbours did.

There is another way of looking at it. Most developed countries have gradually developed a service economy, and their shrinking labour force pushes up their demand for migrant workers. The Philippines has precisely that pool of skilled migrant workers to push its economic growth by exporting services — to meet the requirements of the first world.

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Reflection for 20th Sunday in Ordinary time

20th Sunday in Ordinary time

I have just been to a week-long  retreat in preparation for my priestly ordination next month. I did it in Sevenhill, a Jesuit Retreat Centre situated in Clare Valley South Australia. It is a very conducive place for prayer and reflection not only because of its historic buildings or of its acres of vineyards, or of its historic winery (which produces world-class wines), but also because of the serenity of the place, of its beautiful scenery. It is so peaceful and quiet, that I have actually forgotten my worries beforehand.

My first impression was that I would really enter into the retreat mode quite easily due to the tranquillity of the place. However, it was not really the case. The external factors are less important than the inner disposition. And I have to admit that I always find it challenging and even at times difficult to look at my inner and real motivation for whatever I am doing. Anyhow, I told my director that my expectation for the retreat is to be spiritually prepared for my upcoming priestly ordination. But it’s too general an expectation. My director suggested I would pray with the Scriptures (typical Ignatian Spiritual Exercise) to be enlightened somehow.

I prayed on the first day, nothing was made clear then. Second day, nothing happened.  Thankfully on the third day, I realized that the grace I was actually asking for is ‘to be closer to Jesus.’ It was an insight for me, because I thought as a priest, I really need Jesus. I need to have Jesus in my heart. I need to be closer to him, because it is Him whom I am representing to as a priest. I need to be closer to him, because he is the one whom I am going to preach about, not myself. It took me three day to realize this.  

Friends, in our gospel  for this Sunday, it took three times for the Canaanite woman to plead before Jesus to help her in her need. He ignored her at first. But she continued, “Lord help me.” And Jesus answered her, “I am only sent for the lost sheep of Israel.”  The Canaanites are considered enemy of the Jews, and outsider. And yet, here she is begging  Jesus, a Jew, to help her. She pleaded for the third time, and Jesus said to her quite harshly, “It’s not fair for the children if the food is thrown to the ‘dogs.’ Jesus here did not even refer her as ‘other sheep’ or an ‘outsider’ but a ‘dog.’ Yet this did not discourage the woman, she went on pleading until Jesus was moved to answer her prayer because of her firm faith in Jesus as the only who can help her daughter.

Jesus in our gospel today reminds us not only to persevere in our prayer in faith and with hope, but to  make this gospel as a checklist on our attitude towards prayer. Jesus is asking us today, “Do you have faith in me?” Obviously we answer ‘yes’ otherwise we would not  come to him in prayer. But he would go on asking us. “But what is our attitude towards prayer?”

The gospel has four answers for us here today.

First, be patient. When we pray, we can only expect one of the three replies from God. Yes, if what we are asking is in accordance to his will and it is for our good and for the good of everyone. No, if what we  are asking of God is contrary to his command to love him and one another. And maybe, if what we are asking is not appropriate for us or for the person we are praying for at this very moment, but is beneficial for us later on. We just have to be patient.

Second, is to acknowledge that we need God’s mercy. This is what the Canaanite woman did. She recognizes her need of God’s mercy so she came to Jesus even if she is not one of the Jews. Her need of mercy enables her to transcend the barrier- the gap of race or colour, and because of this daring move, Jesus met her along the way. He also transcended the barrier, even if he said he is only sent for the lost sheep of Israel. We need God’s mercy whoever we are, rich or poor. No one of us can say with all honesty, we don’t need God’s mercy. As long as we still commit sins, as we always are inclined to, we really need God’s mercy. We really need to pray always, ‘Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

Third is to  acknowledge our helplessness before God. The Canaanite woman said, ‘Lord, help me.’ She couldn’t do anything more. She needs help and Jesus is the only one who can help her in her problem, so she came to him. Many times, in our life, when we need help, we don’t turn to God. We however turn to our ‘gods’ to our ‘demi-gods’, such as alcohol, pornography, drugs, and many others that are not really helping us at all. Instead of giving us life, they took our lives away. But our  God is always there to help, we just ask him and trust that he would help us.

Fourth is to acknowledge our ‘littleness’.  Jesus refers to the ‘outsiders’ (non-Jews) in our gospel today as ‘dogs’. That’s an insult for the Canaanite woman. But she accepted it in faith, in fact she used it as a way to get to the heart of Jesus. “But Lord, even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the master’s table.” And that humble admission of one’s littleness even nothingness moves Jesus to heal her daughter, all  because she came to him in faith.

So as we continue in our reflection for this Sunday, let’s examine our prayer.

Are we patient, humble and faithful enough in our prayers  even if it takes days, months or even years before our prayers are answered?

But more importantly: ‘Are all our prayers, leading us closer, more intimately  and  forming a real relationship with Jesus?’

If all our prayers lead us closer to Jesus, then all our prayers are answered. We don’t need anything more.

So let’s make this our prayer then: ‘LORD, draw me closer to you everyday in my life. Amen.’

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Shoes in Church

I received this via email from a friend and this captivates my heart, so I share this with you…hoping that  in our own little way, we can help make things happen for our own good and for the good of everyone.

I showered and shaved……………. I adjusted my tie. 

I got there and sat…………….. In a pew just in time. 

Bowing my head in prayer…………. As I closed my eyes. 

I saw the shoe of the man next to me……. Touching my own. I sighed. 

With plenty of room on either side………. I thought, ‘Why must our soles touch?’ 

It bothered me, his shoe touching mine.. But it didn’t bother him much. 

A prayer began: ‘Our Father’…………. I thought, ‘This man with the shoes, has no pride.

They’re dusty, worn, and scratched. Even worse, there are holes on the side!’ 

‘Thank You for blessings,’ the prayer went on. 

The shoe man said…………….. A quiet ‘Amen.’ 

I tried to focus on the prayer……. But my thoughts were on his shoes again..

Aren’t we supposed to look our best. When walking through that door? 

‘Well, this certainly isn’t it,’ I thought, Glancing toward the floor. 

Then the prayer was ended………… And the songs of praise began. 

The shoe man was certainly loud….. Sounding proud as he sang. 

His voice lifted the rafters…….. His hands were raised high. 

The Lord could surely hear.. The shoe man’s voice from the sky. 

It was time for the offering…….. And what I threw in was steep. 

I watched as the shoe man reached…. Into his pockets so deep. 

I saw what was pulled out………. What the shoe man put in. 

Then I heard a soft ‘clink’ . As when silver hits tin. 

The sermon really bored me………. To tears, and that’s no lie. 

It was the same for the shoe man… For tears fell from his eyes. 

At the end of the service…….. As is the custom here. 

We must greet new visitors, And show them all good cheer. 

But I felt moved somehow……….. And wanted to meet the shoe man. 

So after the closing prayer…….. I reached over and shook his hand. 

He was old and his skin was dark….. And his hair was truly a mess….. 

But I thanked him for coming………. For being our guest… 

He said, ‘My names’ Charlie………… I’m glad to meet you, my friend.’ 

There were tears in his eyes……… But he had a large, wide grin.. 

‘Let me explain,’ he said…………. Wiping tears from his eyes. 

‘I’ve been coming here for months…… And you’re the first to say ‘Hi.” 

‘I know that my appearance………..’Is not like all the rest. 

‘But I really do try………………..’To always look my best.’ 

‘I always clean and polish my shoes…’Before my very long walk. 

‘But by the time I get here……..’They’re dirty and dusty, like chalk.’ 

My heart filled with pain………… And I swallowed to hide my tears. 

As he continued to apologize………. For daring to sit so near 

He said, ‘When I get here…………’I know I must look a sight. 

‘But I thought if I could touch you….’Then maybe our souls might unite.’ 

I was silent for a moment………….. Knowing whatever was said 

Would pale in comparison…. I spoke from my heart, not my head. 

‘Oh, you’ve touched me,’ I said…….’And taught me, in part; 

‘That the best of any man……………’Is what is found in his heart.’ 

The rest, I thought,……………. This shoe man will never know. 

Like just how thankful I really am…. That his dirty old shoe touched my soul 

SAY THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS or BEST FRIEND TODAY:

You are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I respect you, and truly cherish you. Let  your friends know that you haven’t forgotten them, and tell your new friends you never will. 

Remember, everyone needs a friend.

Someday you might feel like you have no friends at all. Turn to Jesus, he is the best of friends, I can attest to this. (Junjun)