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Australian version of Creation a parody

Posted by junix28 on February 5, 2011 in The THEATER OF LIFE...funny & serious scenes

The Aussie Version of Creation

In the beginning God created day and night. He created day for footy matches, going to the beach…..

And BBQ’s……

He created night for going prawning,

sleeping and BBQ’s,

and God saw that it was good.

On the Second Day, God created water….for surfing,

swimming, and BBQ’s on the beach,

and God saw that it was good.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants to provide malt and yeast for beer

and wood for BBQs, and God saw that it was good..

On the Fourth Day God created animals

and crustaceans,chops, sausages,

steak and prawns for BBQ’s, and God saw that it was good.

On the Fifth day God created a Bloke

to make use of all these wondrous creations – go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ’s, and God saw that it was good.

On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.

So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes, and God saw that it was good.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes. He smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God Saw that it was good .. …

Well…. Almost good…..

He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
So God created Sheilas

to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just good…..

It was better than that, it was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA!!!!!
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Do we really know what we are doing?

Posted by junix28 on February 3, 2011 in The THEATER OF LIFE...funny & serious scenes

The Gift of Law

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama.”

The second said, “I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house.”

The third said, “I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600.”

The fourth said, “Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can’t read it anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.”

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: “Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.”

“Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.”

“Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks.”

“Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thanks, Mom.”
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Worlwide Weather Irregularities

Posted by junix28 on February 2, 2011 in F.Y.I. (For your Information)

http://media.theage.com.au/world/world-news/weather-causing-worldwide-chaos-2163862.html

Eternal Father, I offer you the body and blood, soul and divinity of your dearly beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

In the atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

For the sake of his sorrowful passion

Have mercy on us and of the whole world.

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Meeting God in person…

Posted by junix28 on February 1, 2011 in F.Y.I. (For your Information)

Twinkies and Root Beer

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of Root Beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an elderly man. The man was sitting in the park just feeding some pigeons.

The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie.

 

The man gratefully accepted it and smiled at boy. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer.

Again, the man smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the man, and gave him a hug. The man gave him his biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, “What did you do today that made you so happy?

 

“He replied, “I had lunch with God.” But before his mother could respond, he added, “You know what? God’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen!”

 

Meanwhile, the elderly man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked,” Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?”

He replied, “I ate Twinkies in the park with God.” However, before his son responded, he added,” You know, he’s much younger than I expected.”

 

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!

~author unknown~

 

Send this to people who have touched your life in a special way. Let them know how important they are. Have lunch with God!

 

And …….Thanks for touching my life!

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